Virtual Receptionist Services & Features
Sick of voicemails? Sick of "please hold"? Sick of people in general? Same. That's why we built Sloane — the virtual receptionist who never needs coffee breaks, doesn't call in sick, and actually answers your damn phone.
Scheduling? Sure. Taking messages? Obviously. Making you look way more professional than you actually are? Done.
Let Sloane handle your calls, so you can get back to pretending you're "in a meeting."
Launch Without the Tech-Induced Rage Quits
If you can open a browser, you can set up Sloane. No IT guy. No "quick" 4-hour onboarding calls. Just click, connect, done. Even your grandma could do it.
Affordable Enough You Won't Need a GoFundMe
Sloane won't bankrupt you. Flexible pricing, no surprise fees, and no need to sell a kidney. Pay less. Look pro. Win-win.
Grows With You (Like That Weird Mole You Should Probably Get Checked)
Whether you're just starting out or pretending to run an empire, Sloane scales with you. More calls? Cool. Bigger business? Cool. World domination? Also cool.
Why Your Phone Situation is a Hot Mess
Still paying Cheryl to "man the phones" while she's secretly playing Candy Crush between calls? Yeah, we thought so. Human receptionists were fine in 1997, but today? Missed calls = missed money. And your business deserves better than awkward voicemails and endless hold music.
❌ Your Coverage Sucks
Karen needs a lunch break. Chad needs a sick day. Meanwhile, your customers need… well, someone who's actually there.
❌ Your Speed is Slower Than Dial-Up
People don't wait. If your phone rings more than twice, they're already giving your competitor money. Congrats on funding someone else's growth.
❌ Your Reach is Tiny
One person. One office. One shift. That's cute. Customers today expect help now, everywhere, all the time — not just when Janice finally logs in.
✅ Meet Sloane - Your Smartmouth Solution
AI-powered. Never sleeps. Doesn't call in hungover. Sloane answers every call with zero attitude, zero hold music, and answers people actually want to hear.
You Don't Have To Answer Calls. Ever.
Available 24/7. Like Regret and Taxes.
Sloane doesn't sleep, eat, or ghost your customers. Your business stays open, even when you're binge-watching Netflix or "working remotely" from the beach.
Never miss a call. Or a lead. Or a nap.
Stay laser-focused on "important" tasks, like perfecting your Slack emoji game.
Look like a company that has its shit together, even after hours.
Actually Sounds Like Your Business, Not a Robot.
Sloane learns how your business talks, acts, and handles calls. Think of it like hiring a receptionist who never forgets anything and doesn't steal office supplies.
Sounds on-brand, like Karen from accounting wrote it herself.
Knows what to ask, when to ask, and how not to sound like a robot from 2004.
Keeps customers engaged while you're busy being a visionary.
Smart Enough to Ignore Stupid Calls.
Spam? Robocalls? That guy asking if you "need new windows"? Gone. Sloane filters the nonsense so only real humans get through.
Filters spam faster than your email inbox.
Keeps you focused on paying customers, not telemarketers.
Eliminates interruptions, except from your boss (sorry, can't help there).
Books Appointments While You Sleep (Or Day Drink).
Sloane captures leads, schedules appointments, and does the follow-up grunt work — no staff meetings required.
Every lead answered, every opportunity captured.
Grow revenue without hiring Steve's cousin's weird friend.
Run your business confidently, even when you're AFK.
Sounds Human. But With Fewer Mood Swings.
Sloane is friendly, fast, and miraculously never hungover. Think: all the charm of a great receptionist, minus the coffee breath and passive aggression.
Delivers consistent, friendly service (even on Mondays).
Never screws up a script, never needs a break.
Learns and improves, like AI… because it is.
Everything Your Business Needs to Stop Sucking at Phone Management
No Fake-Sounding Greetings
Sloane answers with whatever vibe you want — polite, chill, or corporate buzzword bingo. Your choice. Your brand. Zero "thank you for holding" nonsense.
Smart Message Taking, Not Half-Assed Notes
No more "Call back Bob? Maybe about… something?" Sloane asks the right questions and actually writes stuff down. Like a human, but reliable.
Appointment Booking That Actually Works
Schedule appointments without playing phone tag for three days. Sloane checks your calendar, finds open slots, and locks it in. Revolutionary, we know.
Call Transfer Without the Drama
Need to talk to the actual human? Sloane transfers calls like a pro — not like a confused intern accidentally hanging up on your biggest client.
Follow-Up That Follows Through
Sloane doesn't just take messages and disappear. She follows up, sends reminders, and keeps track of everything. Your move, Karen.
Multilingual Without the Attitude
Spanish, French, or \"I need to speak to the manager\" — Sloane handles them all. No eye-rolling. No heavy sighs. Just help.
Integration That Doesn't Break Everything
Connect with your CRM, calendar, or whatever app you're pretending to use productively. Sloane plays nice with others.
Analytics That Actually Matter
See how many calls, leads, and complaints you're not handling personally. Finally, data you can brag about at networking events.
Experience the Sloane Difference (Yes, It's That Good)
Forget clunky AI, awkward hold music, and that receptionist who still doesn't know how to transfer a call. Sloane isn't here to "try." Sloane shows up, crushes it, and makes you look smarter just for using it.
Listen to Sloane In Action
🔊 Sloane Voice #1: Professional
🔊 Sloane Voice #2: Friendly
🔊 Sloane Voice #3: Chill, but Gets Stuff Done
How Sloane Works (Like Magic, But Legal)
Tell Sloane About Your Biz
Give us your company name, your website, and any other scraps of useful info you've got lying around. Sloane learns fast. Faster than your last intern, guaranteed.
Confirm Sloane's Not Making Sh*t Up
Double-check your details. Business name? Check. Services? Check. Sloane speaking like an actual human? Double check. Customize how she talks so no one knows it's AI (except you, obviously).
Point Your Calls at Sloane
Keep your number. Forward your calls. That's it. Seriously. It's like hiring a receptionist, but without the salary, drama, or \"accidental\" PTO.
Sloane Works. You Chill.
Sloane answers. Sloane takes messages. Sloane makes you look good. You get updates by email, text, carrier pigeon (okay, not really). Every call recorded, every message saved. Effort = minimal.
Don't Take Our Word For It (Take Theirs)
"People call my business and talk to Sloane. Then they call me just to ask how I suddenly got my life together. I tell them it wasn't me — it was Sloane. You're welcome."
Classic City Transportation
Probably Way Less Stressed Now
"I thought AI answering services were all dumb. Then Sloane showed up, crushed it, and started giving directions better than my GPS. Leads? Saved. Time? Saved. Sanity? Mostly intact. Mind = blown."
Chameleon Event Space
Officially a Fan
Look at All These Smart People Using Sloane (You Should Too)
We work with businesses of all sizes — from tiny startups running on caffeine and optimism to industry giants who probably don't even notice invoices anymore. They all trust Sloane to answer their phones because… duh.
AI that sounds good, works fast, and doesn't embarrass you in front of customers? Yeah, that's us.
Scroll through these logos and pretend you're not already jealous.
